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Awe

from Awkward Awe by Elian Gray

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lyrics

The dust is always settling
The ending's dependent on perception as anything
Everything is trembling
There's tremolo on everything
Gently
Delicate as feathers on a bed of pins
Tempt me
I'll tentatively step within your temple if you let me
Welcome in the spectacle you're beckoning
Ready?
Keep your spectacles steady on the Petri dish
Ah the splendour
Of spending mere seconds
In the presence of a presence more present than we've ever been

And voila!
The moments gone before the second tick
Another ancient relic left buried in the sediment
Another long lost lofty LSD sentiment
Too majestic to be compressed in mere sentences
Definitions only serve to censor the respect that it commands
Only the most intrepid jellyfish
Ever get to swim in anything better than tepid piss
Only the most sensitive of specimens
Ever get to see the sense in living less separatist

And they howl and they cry in the night like a theremin
For the terrible angels and their heavenly hellishness
And for all your intelligence and well-dressed eloquence
I've genuinely never seen cherubs look so devilish
I've never seen any sense in what you're telling us
As science relishes the next best pessimist
Priests pedal Armageddon and our day of reckoning
I guess we wait for the serpent to shed it's skin
Lend a quid to forever, as a gesture to our next of kin
Until then

If you need me come find me
I'll stand beside you as the sky bleeds
Confide in me, sing your song
I'll weep for you in binary
Silently
Come close enough to feel it
Close enough to speak our secrets
Deep in privacy
Then lie to me, please
Imply some deeper meaning
Give some pretence to this sequence
Some ideal I can believe in
Until I'm deep enough in dream that I won't wake when shaken violently
Finally
Ignorance is bliss and I'm wide asleep
But dreams seem fickle in this scheme of society

There's something wrong here
You and I can both feel it
Tarot readings spread in a bow show a chocked Phoenix
A broke helix, un-cracked code in both pieces
A homeless man holding a sign that says “hope”
Weeping
A boat leaving
A cloned seedling
A crow bleeding
A gold throne on a globe depleted with no resource
It's no secret the world’s outgrown its old leaders
Yet I can't help feeling our defects might go deeper
So I thoroughly advise you to deal with your own demons

Is it them? Is it us? Some inherent dysfunction
Is it fair? Is it just our benevolent comeuppance
Who'd a thunk it?
It's another classic who dun it
We're all flummoxed
Fingers pointed, brows furrowed
Still coming up with nothing
The same discussion through the ages
Like are we moving towards something dangerous?
And away from the cycles of nature that made us
I can't help feeling we're missing something basic
Something bigger, something sacred
Something...
[What was I saying?]

The dust is always settling
It’s us against them again
It's never been more prevalent
Impending doom is immanent
Emanating, echoing
Off the walls of tenements
An endless drawl of "Its bad as it's ever been"
And "everything was better then"
Etc etc
Maybe it's all better in remembrance
Or maybe we're all edging off the precipice
If so, at least we get to see the end of this

It goes up down left right
Simple designs
Drawn by a school full of fools where innocence dies
Well groomed for the box that they're thinking inside
An army of ants trained to within an inch of their lives
We pave the way
Concrete and pillars of iron
Building a shrine to the mistakes of our primitive minds
The queen bees couldn't give a shit for the hive
That's why they're willing to sacrifice millions of lives
[The queen bees couldn't give a shit for the hive
That's why they're willing to sacrifice millions of lives]
For a cause that will be gone in the blink of an eye
Mamma always told me, these are definitive times
I don't like the cut of their jib, all glib with a smile
They love the smell of their own shit
Fucking pigs in the sty
I'm not crying
There's just some shit in my eye
Trying to seeing the bigger picture while it's whistling by
Sipping a chai, living life like I'm bigger than time
I've been polite as a smile since chivalry died
I've been contrived
Too timid to skip to rhythm of life
I've been so afraid of love it made me bitter inside
But I'm alive
Sitting with a grin of a child
All Torvill and Dean
On the thinnest of ice
And I talk in my sleep and I twitch and I writhe
Cos I'm torn by a dream where we literally thrive
Not the same story repeated until it's riddled with lies
And once I was finished with my trip in the sky
I knew the first step to making a difference is inside
Before you criticize maybe give it a try
At the end of the day
It's the beginning of the night
And the dust is always settling

credits

from Awkward Awe, released August 14, 2020
Written by Elian Gray & Jamie Payne
Produced by Elian Gray
Guitar/Bass Guitar - Jamie Payne
Choir - Noemie Ducimetiere, Talia Randall, Sara Barton-Keely
Cello - Timothy Kraemer
Mixed by James Preston
Mastered by Andy ‘Hippy’ Baldwin

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Elian Gray London, UK

Alternative rap for ageing nerds.

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